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The Plunger By Joyce Jace "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." I'm wondering if Albert was referencing our kids when he came up with this profound tidbit. Was he aware of my son's antics when he gave "imagination" such a high priority over knowledge? I have always given my child permission to be imaginative. The world that we create within our mind can be so exciting. It's also a prerequisite to becoming a voracious reader. Reading a good book can spark a child's imagination and take it to places unknown for that child. What an adventure! The fist dabbling of our children, in the world of imagination, takes place at about 3 or 4-years of age. Imaginary friends come into existence and the experts encourage parents to acknowledge these friends as real. Wonderful stories are borne and held in memory, as parents cater to this friend as if it were their own child. Our children delight in our approval of allowing this friend into their life as real. And all too quickly, those friends are replaced with the real thing, but we hold onto those memories as precious. Those friends disappear usually by age 5, so imagine my surprise when my 8-year-old son introduced me to his new "friend". And this wasn't just any old "friend". Oh no. He introduced me to his new brother. I've always felt guilty because he's an only child. I've regretted that he never learned how wonderful it is to grow up with siblings. Yeah right! Ask any Mother with more than one kid, how wonderful this can be in those early years. Be that as it may, I've always felt bad. He's an only child and now this poor kid is so desperate to have a sibling that he's resorted to an imaginary brother. Eight-year olds are not supposed to have imaginary anything. He's supposed to be beyond that stage. And to add insult to injury this brother isn't imaginary either. To whit the following brief exchange between myself and my son: "Carter .. put that dirty toilet plunger back in the bathroom please." "Mo-o-o-m! It's not a plunger. It's my brother." "I beg your pardon?" "This is my new brother and he likes to go everywhere I go." I excused myself for a minute and ran to find my old college textbooks on psychopathology in young children. I could not find anything on 8-year-old children who imagine toilet plungers as siblings! How abnormal is this? My 15 years in the mental health field and I never had to deal with a concerned parent who brought their child in for counseling because the child carried around a toilet plunger and introduced it as their sibling! As I have learned in the past, the more I demand that he stop something .. the tighter he clings onto whatever it is. Nonplused I look at him and at the plunger and say, "That's nice". I refuse to react! He's waiting for me to react and I'm not going to. He took the plunger to bed with him. When I kissed him good night, he demanded that I kiss his brother as well. I'm embarrassed to tell you that I did. He promised that he had washed it with soap. I cannot believe I kissed that plunger! Fearing that I might damage his psyche if I demand that he stop this nonsense, I've just tried to ignore him when he carries it around the house. This morning, though, I put my foot down. "Mom, can I bring my brother for show and tell?" I couldn't get the words out of my mouth fast enough, "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" "Damaged psyche or not, you are not taking a toilet plunger into your 3rd grade class and introducing it as your brother! End of story, now get in the van!" Wonder whether Einstein would still consider imagination more important than knowledge if his own kid had a toilet plunger as a brother? These articles are written by a mental health professional, who has worked with families and children for the past 15 years as a therapist. Joyce Jace has transferred her therapeutic knowledge to the Web, works from home in her pajamas, and hopes to empower all parents with the skills and information necessary to raise emotionally healthy and happy kids. Humor is a must-have skill for any parent. You're welcome to visit her on the Web at www.jmjace.com for additional parenting information. |
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